Date Me Baby One More Time

IF YOU THINK LIFE IS COMPLICATED, TRY IMMORTALITY.
Justine Bennett is cursing her life. She's the Guardian of the Goblet of Eternal Youth, she hasn't left the house in ages, and it's been over 200 years since she's had sex. Oh, and the Goblet has shape-shifted into an espresso machine named Mona. Not exactly the stuff grand destiny is made of...

Derek LaValle is worried. Due to a family curse, he'll be dead in the space of a week unless he finds the Guardian of the Goblet of Eternal Youth and beheads her. Which wouldn't be a problem if she weren't so sexy, smart... and ready to behead him right back.